by davidpisarra on August 5, 2008
PARENTING PLANS - THE ROADMAP OF YOUR FUTURE RELATIONSHIP WITH YOUR CHILD
When you’re first told you are going to be a father, naturally the expectations of what the future will look like pop into your head. You think of fishing trips and baseball games, ballet recitals and happy holiday memories being created.
At first you and mom, are getting along great, you agree on what needs to be done to properly raise a child. Mom’s in charge a lot, at first, because of the necessity to breastfeed, attend to the endless needs of a newborn and her own maternal instincts. This works at first, but it also sets a pattern for your relationship with your child. Mom’s in charge and dad does what mom says to provide for the growth and well-being of the newborn. [click to continue...]
by davidpisarra on August 5, 2008
THE CAREER TRAP FOR MEN
“Men always take it in the shorts, in court” – this is a very common sentiment among the husbands and fathers who are entering into the arena of battle called Family Court. It is an extremely unfamiliar playground for most men, because the rules of the game run contrary to what we as young boys are taught.
As a child, a boy is taught to be tough, don’t let your emotions show, and conquer the other side with overwhelming strength. In the adult world of business and careers, those are exactly the skills that one needs to succeed.
As a new husband and father, men are taught to be a good provider, which means to bring home a big paycheck to buy a big home, to pay for daycare and after-school activities like gymnastics, ballet, little league and soccer. This drive for career success provides men with a sense of accomplishment as they become the stereotype of ‘American Dad’.
Then the divorce comes. Custody battles start, and the fight over money to support the child begins.
This is where most men lose the battle before they even go into court. Not because the court is inherently against them, but because they don’t know the rules, and more importantly the goal of the game. [click to continue...]
by davidpisarra on August 4, 2008
Rumors are swirling in the blogosphere about the Charlie Sheen and Denise Richards divorce and the latest allegations in their custody battle. There are allegations of child abuse by Ms Richards, and until these are investigated and proved, no one is guilty of anything.
But they point to an alarming trend that most family law practitioners are noticing, and that is an upsurge in the allegation of child abuse by one parent against the other. Most frequently it is the mother alleging that the father is either a “bad parent” who lacks parenting skills and is only mildly abusive, to the nuclear option of sexual molestation.
The definition of abuse of children has changed radically over the last the 30 years. It used to be common for a child to be spanked, and for some parents to use a belt or a paddle to correct their children’s behavior. The book Mommy Dearest chronicled the path of abuse that Christina Crawford suffered from the late film star Joan Crawford, and its effects on her life, and it flung wide open the door to the topic of child abuse.
Abuse, like everything, has a spectrum, from the mildly negligent care of a preoccupied parent to the physical and mental abuse of a deranged pedophile. Our social tolerance for any type of abuse has dropped significantly, and the fighting parent who is using the children to get back at their spouse may not stop at making allegations that are false. [click to continue...]
Simple Divorces
